Second and Third Order Effects

Decisions. We all have to make them. We do it every day and there is no avoiding it. We decide to get out of the bed, we decide to get dressed and ready for the day, we decide to eat our breakfast, we decide to do everything. No one can tell us that there is no choice because there is always a choice and we have to make that decision.

The fact is that some decisions are easy to make, some are a lot more difficult. In fact sometimes the hardest part about making decisions is being decisive. We often hesitate on some decisions because (especially when we are with certain people) we don't want to effect their lives or well being in a negative way. Sometimes we make those decisions because we don't want to effect their lives in a positive way. The problem is that no matter what you decide it has an effect... not just on you, but on those you love and those who surround you. Not only will it effect the ones you love but it will effect the ones they love. We call these Second and Third Order Effects in my line of work.

What I find sad is that often we make very critically important decisions without considering the second and third order effects of those decisions. We don't stop to think, "how will this decision effect my wife, or my family, or my loved ones and friends?" We don't think because at that moment it seems so minuscule to think that what we do really matters.

I'm here to tell you that every decision we make, whether big or small will have some effect on those around you. Decisions you make on the fly will effect the decision of a family member or friend. It is the actions that we take that can either aid or destroy a strong and lasting reputation of being reliable and trustworthy.

I guess I only bring this up because I have been struggling with a decision for the past few weeks that will drastically alter the course of not only my life but the lives of my family and friends. That's right this effects you. The funny part is that most of you will never fully know what the topic of debate in my minds parliament is about, but it is only fair I warn you that it will effect our relationship. Talk about your second and third order effects.

See the question is a profound debate. On one hand I have my family and friends and the continued relationships that I have built. On the other I hold a noble cause, but a cause in which methods used are often controversial.

So as I debate this great question in my minds senate halls I must consider all possible outcomes and all possible second and third order effects in order to determine which outcome is going to the best fork in the road for my family and friends.

The fact is, my faithful readers, the decisions I make today, my son will have to live with tomorrow. I can only pray I leave him a blessing and not a curse.

Valkyrie

A Word To The Critics

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

President Theodore Roosevelt

"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

These words echo daily in my mind as I look back. I won't lie and say that I have been the greatest of men, though often times I have felt like the least of them. I have always desired to be the next great champion.... the next great hero..., but as my days continue and the more I experience the less of a hero I want to be. I have no more desires for fame or glory. I have no desire to be honored in the halls of heroes.... No. I just want to be known as a good man, a loving and faithful husband, and a father a man can look back on his childhood and be proud of. It is something I have fallen short of every day. I'm not the man I want to be or that my wife and son deserve to have, but there is no critic other than my own conscience who has the right to point out how I have stumbled.

The truth is it is easy to see where I have stumbled. It takes no great eye to see where I fail. But the test of a good critic and a true friend is by the way they can spot your worth, even when you can't.

I have accomplished a lot of what I always dreamed of as a boy. I have come farther than most that dreamed of the same things, but it was a long and hard road, and the journey is far from done. To judge me and tell me I cannot is only the encouragement I need to get up and try harder. The ecouragement to quit will always go unheeded, but the encouragement to get up and fight harder I can never hear enough. I have reached the point in my life where the critics voice is no longer heard; a point where the only sounds I hear are the sounds of those who have held up my hands when I've grown weary. "Fight on" they say. "Don't quit now" they say. "You're almost there."

What we must teach our children is that life truly is an arena. It is a fight. One that never ends. For a boy to grow up and become a man he must be made of grit. He must be honorable, intelligent, and a scrapper when he needs to be. He must know when to use his wit and how. He must know when to scrap and why. He must know what honor truly is. Finally, he must know that he must live with the choices that he's made. Because, when it all comes down to it, it's not the critic who counts, it's the man.

Valkyrie